Deleted Scenes: Initiative

The sun shone through the window, resting softly on the flecks of dust that idly floated through the air and came to rest upon the surfaces in the room. He liked to keep the place clean, or as clean as it possibly could be, with five boys living in this one tiny space. Even if the others left their areas to stink and collect dust… He was better than that. Better than this tiny place. Better than this awful space. Better than this dumbass District that treated him like a piece of shit all the time and the pigs that surrounded him: both the animals and the people, if you would even call his roommates that. 

 

He sat on the tiny hay bale they called a bed. It was the only safe space in the entire world. And it wasn’t even that safe, really. There was almost always someone else around, and they always had an opinion. Theirs was simply just wrong, and they were too stubborn to realize it. 

 

Now was one of the rare moments that he was alone. It was a gorgeous day, the pesky sun was shining, the air dry of any breeze. Outside of his window, at least a score of children ran, giggled, and played with the few toys they had and their imaginations. 

 

His guitar was the only thing keeping him from fucking losing it. It was the one thing that he found fulfillment in. The one way he has any hope at making a living, because the horses fucking hated him, and he hated them back. And the idea of being gorey and bloody as a butcher? Absolutely not. As if anyone would want to take him in as an apprentice. He didn’t even have a last name. They just tagged one onto him, Smith, as if that would make him more adoptable. Well, frankly, unless Arthur Warwick walked through that door, he wouldn’t want to be adopted. He’s old enough to make his own life now, and doesn’t want or need anyone to make it for him.  

 

“You have a visitor.” 

 

The words echoed through the empty rooms. It took another iteration of the statement for him to realize it was for him. 

 

Damnit. The boy let out a sharp breath of annoyance. He didn’t want any damn visitors, he just wanted to play. 

 

He stood straight up, running his hands through his hair. He gently sat the instrument on the haystack and walked out to the small visiting room. He froze in the doorway when he saw the man sitting across from him. 

 

“Well? Enter, child.” 

 

He was quick to obey, sliding down into a seat. “You meant to see me Sir?”

 

“Yes, yes.” The man seemed to be in a hurry, not like he particularly wanted to be there. “I have a job for you.” He looked around the room, a guard standing at the closed door, before he leaned in towards the orphan. “In the face of opposition, we need unification. This country needs to be cleansed from the rebellious celebrities that believe they can run the government.” The way the man’s eyebrows creased made the boy sink a little lower into his seat. “What we need is a feel-good group. A group with a story. With a heart for peace, cooperation, and obedience.” 

 

He looked toward the boy expectantly. 

“What’s in it for me?” It takes two to play chess, old man.

 

At the question, the man simply broke into a smile. “You are clever. I would expect nothing less from you. I believe the reward is obvious: nationwide fame, riches, freedom, residence in the Capitol…” Perhaps the man could see the stars in the boy’s eyes, because he let out a low chuckle. “Does that strike your fancy?” 

 

“Please, don’t ask rhetorical questions.” The boy folded his hands on his lap. “I must ask, why me?” He knew that it was an opportunity he deserved. But surely someone this important had something in his back pocket, just waiting to expose itself. 

 

“I need someone cordial to keep the peace. I need someone talented and charming. I need someone ambitious and devoted to success. And, well, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, now does it?” 

 

His heartbeat quickened. “I always knew there was something about me that was bigger than this shithole,” and quickly added, “Excuse my language.” 

 

This gained a laugh from the man. “Come home, boy. You have greatness ahead of you.” 

 

“Wait, right now?!” he squeaked, as the guards came to usher them out the door. 

 

“If you’re ready to leave your old life behind.” 

 

He swallowed a nervous lump in his throat. “Of course.”

He walked out the door, not even looking back long enough to pick up his guitar. 

 

Deleted Scenes: Family

When he went back into the bunker, the rescued tributes seemed to be asleep. Wolf liked to check on them: he so often worried about them. Kat was silent as he looked into each of the rooms to make sure each of the little devils was accounted for. And to make sure nobody would hear him later… But he couldn’t worry Kat. 

 

“Everything alright?” she asked, her face just dripping with concern. 

 

“Yeah, all is well,” Wolf said, smiling at her to try and convince her. She couldn’t be fooled for a single moment. He took a seat on the couch that he’d picked up from a driveway for the tributes to have a comfy living area. 

 

It was over. Phil was buried, Upward Voyager was dissolved, and his friends were gone, and now he was here, surrounded by young people that were trying everything they could to please him, even when he pushed them to their very limits. They were in so much pain, and of the 24 tributes that went in, he could only save three…. God, what was the point of any of this? Kat was in the kitchen: perhaps making him some kind of comfort food.

 

He was alone now, Kat was by his side, and he didn’t have to worry about letting any of them down anymore. 

 

It started as a small trickle, just one single tear… In a matter of seconds, it was as if a dam had broken. The tears poured in droves out of his eyes, the choked sobs escaping his lips as his body shook and he hugged himself, hungering for comfort. 

 

In an instant, Kat dropped what she was doing and soon was next to him, pulling him towards her and cradling him. “Stellan…” she whispered, her own silent tears pouring down her cheeks from seeing him hurting so much. “I’m here.”

 

“They were my family…” He grabbed handfuls of the couch. “And they’re…. They’re gone…” He tried to steel himself, but the tears weren’t stopping now. He had been holding them in for so long. Busying his brain with planning a service, tracking his niblings’ progress with their new identities, losing himself in what he was giving to others. Now, he was alone. It was over. His cheeks were wet with tears that continued to slide out. 

 

He wanted to say more. He wanted to put his pain into words for her, or tell her not to worry about him… But he couldn't. All he could do was lay in her lap and continue to sob quietly. 

 

Kat ran a hand over his hair repeatedly, hoping to provide him with any sort of comfort. She just didn’t know what she could possibly say to him in this moment. She wished she could tell him it was all some awful nightmare and they’d wake up soon with Phil still there and the band would get ready for their next gig. She wished more than anything she could stop her Stellan from hurting like this. “They won’t ever stop being your family…” said Kat quietly, but even she struggled to see how things would ever be as they were before. How can they ever be the same after losing their brother? “And...you have family here.”

 

“Like they’re going to be my family, with what I’ve said about Syca, Camellia, Malloy, with how I’ve provoked them and how we’ve yelled and… God…” he moved his hands up to his face to rub tears away, which were just replaced. “Like they wouldn’t rather be back home than be here with me.” After everything he had to put them through. He was absorbed by the sobs again, grabbing onto Kat’s knee tightly to try and center himself. 

 

A nervous throat clearing brought their attention over to the doorway, where Camellia stood, afraid to interrupt as her own tears silently fell down her cheeks. “Wolf…?” Camellia asked quietly as she wrapped her arms around herself. “Is it...okay if I come in?”

 

Shit… He squeezed tears out of his eyes, trying to get them to stop, trying to get control over himself. After everything she’s been through, she needs someone strong that can be her person. He tried to sit up, the world spinning through blurry tears. “Mm, ‘f course,” he said weakly, trying to keep the tears out of his voice. “This is your space after all…” 

 

“I’ll give you two some space,” Kat got up quietly, rubbing Stellan’s shoulder silently for a moment before going back to the kitchen to give the two of them some privacy.

 

“It’s yours too,” Camellia said meekly as she slowly walked over, her heart breaking at seeing the man who had done so much for her, for those she loves…  Camellia sat down next to him and without saying anything, pulled him into a tight hug. “I know,” she whispered, holding back her own sob of pain. “Life isn’t fair.”

 

“I’ll be okay,” he said quickly, not wanting to worry her. His arms and hands shook, betraying his emotions. “Why… are you up s-so late?” What do you need from me? That was always what he wanted to know. He wanted to be what his friends needed… A shiver was sent through his body as he tried not to quiver. 

 

Camellia was silent for a moment, trying to stop her own tears to be strong for him. Brave Wolf, who was always there protecting everyone, always worried about everyone before himself… She knew firsthand how hard it is always looking out for others and wanting to protect them from the pain. “I couldn’t sleep knowing where you were… I wanted to make sure you’re alright and I...I guess just want to make sure you know I’m here.”

 

He looked into her brave face, trying to think through how to get her to not worry about him. As he opened his mouth, though, another sob came out, and he dissolved into not being able to talk once again, burying his face in his hands. She had no idea what he had lost today… And just the thought of telling her made him inconsolable. He never in a million years thought he would end up alone again, and here he was… He leaned forward again, crying into his hands softly. 

 

Seeing Wolf so broken just brought back so many waves of pain from the loss she’s felt over the last few years… Camellia was helpless. Nothing she said would bring Phil back or erase the pain. All she could do was offer him support… Camellia wrapped her arms around him, pulling his head into her shoulder and she rubbed his back, letting him sob and release the pain. “I wish I could say it gets easier...but it doesn’t. Every single day I wish there was something different I could have done to change what happened. Every day I wish he was still here… But I wake up and he’s still gone…” Camellia trailed off, her own sobs shaking her voice and making it almost impossible to keep going. Yet she knew she had to. Her pain has grown to be a dull pain, always lingering there, but his...his pain was still raw and bleeding. “Some days the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that he wouldn’t want me to give up because he’s gone. And-”

 

“Pluto,” he said, cutting her off. “Pluto and Thor are speaking against Numi. They left…” his voice cracked. “They’re gone. The family’s gone. The band’s over. Kaput. Donezo. They don’t believe in what I’m doing enough to risk their families. Themselves. And I’m the reason Phil’s dead. It’s me. I can say that I’m doing it for him, and for Syca, and for- Elliot… It was still my fault. It’s better for them to leave, so they can be safe. But that doesn’t make it any easier to watch them walk away from me.” 

 

“No, Wolf,” Camellia said as she pulled back to stare him in the eyes. She shook her head at him, knowing the pain in his eyes will haunt her… She never wanted to see him hurt like this. “It is not your fault. You didn’t pull that trigger, just like I di-didn’t-” she cut off with a sob, trying to hold back years of pain and guilt that she didn’t do enough to save her brother. “I...wish I knew what to say about the band… People just...react differently to pain…” Camellia hung her head, tears falling down into her lap. “I lost my own family long before I ever went into the Games…”

 

He squeezed tears out of his eyes, trying to believe what she was saying to him. He had burned so many bridges, even with his own sister, for this cause. All because he wanted to do something big and end the Games. “What if all of this is in vain?” he asked, finally. “What if they’re right? What if I’m putting everyone in danger? What if I didn’t do a good enough job of making you all into Capitolites, and you get discovered, and then we all die? What then?” He had tried so hard to save the six of them. There was only so much he could do. “Don’t answer any of that…” he couldn’t bear the thought of Phil’s death being in vain like that. “I just wonder if I’ve done enough. Obviously not for them…” he bit his lip. “I just want to keep you all safe… You’re all I have left. What if I fuck over you all too?” 

 

“You won’t,” Camellia whispered, seeing right away that he doesn’t believe her. “You’ve done more than anyone has asked you to… You’ve managed to save six people from the Games. Six. Before you...only one person came out each year - don’t even start on technicalities with the Quell,” Camellia pointed out, getting a small scoff from Wolf through the tears. “You know what I mean… You’ve given each of us a second chance at life and that’s more than any of us can ever repay.”

 

“That was Lux, not me. That was Mako, not me. That was… That was the work of so many other people…” he closed his eyes. “This is what I’m supposed to do for you. What if I’m not good enough to see it through for you all? There might be something I’m not seeing until I send you all out there, and then what?” He so often stayed awake, worrying about the six of them. Worrying that the operation would be thrown off by the smallest thing: worry about being betrayed and sold out. He had trouble trusting them, and more trouble trusting himself. 

 

“You can’t do everything, Wolf...you’re only one person,” Camellia said quietly, wiping away some of his tears and brushing his hair back. “No one can see every future possibility but just...let us take some of the burden… We all want to help you after you’ve saved us.”

 

“It’s the least we can do.” Malloy’s sleepy voice was accompanied by a yawn as he brought out a blanket from his room and wrapped it around Wolf’s shoulders. 

 

“We’re going to work hard,” Tessa said, rubbing her eyes and leaning over the couch to kiss the top of his head softly. 

 

“You give us the tools, and we’ll make sure we get there.” Coda sat on his other side, and suddenly Wolf was in the middle of a giant cuddle pile. 

 

“We believe in what you’re doing, Wolf,” Jace said, holding Trap’s hand as they went into the room together and sitting at the bottom of the couch by his feet. 

 

“Give yourself a little credit,” said Trap, giving him a pat on the shoulder and sitting on the other side of his feet. 

 

“You’re stuck with us, whether you like it or not,” Camellia added, giving him an encouraging smile before leaning against his shoulder.

 

Wolf tried to find it in himself to tell them about his friends but he couldn’t. Instead, he just released a tense breath he was holding, more tears rolling down his face that he couldn’t hold back anymore. 

 

“Really the worst part of this is going to be having a band of noobs instead of professionals that are well-trained,” Malloy said. 

 

“Who says noobs anymore?” Jace asked, wrinkling his nose, and through his tears, Wolf laughed. Coda passed him a tissue, and he blew his nose with a great trumpet. 

 

“We’ve all experienced loss to the Games, and to the crooked parts of the Capitol,” whispered Tessa. “We’re right behind you to end it. For good.” 

 

“I don’t know about you dudes, but there’s no one else I’d rather stick it to the Capitol with,” said Camellia, trying her best to lighten the mood.

 

“Me too,” whispered Tessa, and everyone cuddled close to Stellan. 

 

“Sometimes, you find family in the weirdest places,” Malloy said. 

 

“Woah, I wouldn’t go that far,” Coda said hesitantly, causing a few of them to laugh. 

 

“I would.” Nobody was in the mood to give the Career snark.

 

“I agree,” Camellia said quietly, surprising all of them by agreeing with Trap. She looked around at their ragtag group and...she wouldn’t want it any other way. “All of you are my family now. Even you, Trap.”

 

“Right back atcha, Boss.” He leaned his head against Wolf’s knee and tried to discreetly take a tissue from the box that Coda was holding. 

 

“You’re like our Dad,” Tessa said to Wolf. 

 

“I’m not that old,” Wolf said indignantly. 

 

Kat let out a loud laugh from the next room, drawing everyone’s attention over to her in the kitchen. “Sure, Dad,” Kat snorted at the comment, but she was just glad to see him not crying anymore and surrounded by family. “So,” she gestured to the food in front of her. “Since everyone is awake, should we just order a pizza? I’m not feeding all of you hungry bastards.”

 

“Pizza!” they all chirped, despite how late it was. 

 

Wolf felt a grin spread across his face, surrounded by a new family of people he’d created. 

 

“Only if it has pepperoni and sausage.”