Deleted Scenes: All I Ask of You

 (This scene was co-written with Lauren. Thanks for the help and the feels!)
Party Phase 2

-Wolf Jansing, Drummer for Upward Voyager-

Wolf had found it easy to enjoy the second phase of the party. He loved to perform with his friends, talk to his fans, and all thanks to Elliot, he got to sing a totally wicked song with his little sister! Wolf never thought he would sing with Jillianne again after what he did to her. It was a night of surprises. 

But if one more person asked him, When are you going to ask Kat out? He was going to get mad. 

They asked the question like Wolf was being a coward. They asked it like it would be easy to go ask her out. They thought Wolf didn’t know that?! They thought Wolf couldn’t see that she kinda liked him too? They thought he was just oblivious, they thought that the reason that he didn’t make a move was because he was afraid. 

And he was afraid. But not because he didn’t think she would feel the same, or if she didn’t that it would ruin their friendship. He so desperately wished sometimes that it would just be silly fears like that holding him back from finally being happy and settling down with someone. If only it were that easy. They don’t know, most of them, the consequences that could come with dating with someone like him. 

Wolf was often considered a friendly person, but somehow, he was both friendly and distant. Perhaps it was because he didn’t have a choice. He was alone for a reason, though. He couldn’t stand the thought of putting anyone else in danger. 

Thankfully, they were running a very secure operation. It was unlikely that anything would happen: for now, anyways. But what if it escalated? What if things got dire? What if… What if two years down the line, he was being held prisoner for treason? His best friend had been executed for being rebellious. Wolf watched it happen and knew that it could easily happen to him too. Or worse, to her, for being associated with him. 

Were we also forgetting the fact that she was a Capitolite?! Yeah, they didn’t take well to rebels last time Wolf checked. He wasn’t about to compromise his entire operation and put a bunch of other people in danger. She could easily put out the effort before it even ignited. His bandmates had varying amounts of knowledge about Wolf’s involvement with the rebels, but all of them should have gathered by now that this wasn’t as easy as growing balls and talking to her. (God, if only it were easy to grow balls. But that was beside the point.) 

If he had known that he would be sitting in a ferris wheel car with her alone, he never would have followed his beckoning bandmates. He honestly had no idea they were scheming: not even Pluto slipped up and blurted what they were planning. And Pluto usually told him everything. He was a little suspicious when Midnight’s Muse was waiting at the front of the line, but figured it didn’t mean anything. Just as he was (uncomfortably) commenting on the funny coincidence, he was being thrown in by all of his band members, and just as the door sealed shut, he realized who he was thrown in with. 

Wolf was more than a little annoyed at them. He felt terrible for making her believe this could possibly be a thing. And now what was he supposed to say to her? He couldn’t just lie and break her heart… Wolf sat on one side of the pod, holding his head in his hands and trying to figure out how to break it to her. There was no easy way.

“It’s uh...nice view, huh?” It was a bit odd coming from the whole other side of the pod. These weren’t exactly small areas. 

“Yeah,” he said, even though he wasn’t really looking out the window at all. 

“Look at the Tribute Complex,” she said, and Wolf watched her point out the window. He stood up and turned around, but of course the building was blocked from his view. 

Why can’t the universe just let me stay away?! He wondered angrily to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. And the only way for that to happen would be if he stayed away from her. He slowly walked over to stand next to her, hoping that this didn’t have to become anything. 

“Do you see it?” she asked, but her voice didn’t sound particularly excited. 

“Oh, it’s pretty. Yeah, a nice view,” he said, scratching his neck nervously. The view was actually gorgeous. The lights sparkled in the night. Wolf smiled a little bit. Somehow, this big city had become somewhat of a second home for him. Somehow, he had a family there. But he was also fighting to destroy it… Wolf looked away quickly, his stomach lurching uncomfortably. 

“It’s a nice view in here,” she said, barely above a murmur. If Wolf wasn’t hyper-aware of everything going on, he would have missed it. He could feel his ears burn as conflicting feelings flared up in his heart. He wanted to feel the thrill of courtship, but God it just hurt knowing that he was going to have to break her heart. He didn’t even know how to tell her without seeming like a total jerk… 

“It was a real smartass move of them you know,” Wolf said, walking away with her, towards the center of the pod, trying to change the subject. 

“I don’t know why you’re surprised. It’s your band members, after all.” 

Wolf knew he shouldn’t be surprised, but it was easy for them to pull this bullshit when they all got their special storybook ending. Why did they not understand that he couldn’t have that like they all could!? They were practically rubbing it in his face. He took a deep breath, trying to control his frustration. It had been a while since he was this pissed. 

It’s not their fault, he thought, they are just trying to help… 

“I’m sure they’ve all bet on the outcome of this whole shenanigan too,” he said bitterly. 

“Oh absolutely,” Kat laughed, before tilting her head. “Do you hear that?”

Wolf let out an annoyed sigh. “I was really, really hoping that I was just imagining it as an excuse to beat the shit out of my friends when we get out of here.” Indeed, he could now clearly hear muffled music playing outside. And if it was what he thought it was, they were certainly all as good as dead once he was back on the ground. He listened closer, and suddenly the music got louder as the car below them stuck a speaker attached to a pole out the window. 

“There, you see her, 

Sitting there across the way…” 

Wolf felt so angry he started laughing. Mostly angry at himself for not being able to have this moment. He wanted it so badly. As he laughed, louder and louder until it was a full cackle, his anger started to fade away a little bit at the ridiculousness of the situation. His dumbass friends had put an entire damn portable karaoke set-up in the pod directly below theirs just to fuck with them. 

“Can you believe this?!” he cackled, still annoyed but also amused. 

“Well you and your friends did arrange for the performance with Thack… So yeah, I can.”

Wolf was speechless. He probably should have expected this, but honestly, he didn’t imagine that his friends sat around and talked about his personal health and wellbeing when he wasn’t around. “No offense, but this makes me want to kiss you less.”

“Oh.”

Wolf was suddenly concerned and nervous that he’d said the wrong thing. “It was a joke,” he said quickly. “I just don’t want to give them what they’re so obviously expecting. And I want Thor to lose money, and I’m pretty sure he bet big on this.” 

“That’s all I am? A bet with your friends?” Kat crossed her arms at him, face unreadable. 

“Well no!” Wolf could tell he fucked up, but maybe this was for the better. “I just… Don’t know if this is the right time so I’m trying to stall because…” he gave a quiet laugh that was now very nervous. “Well, it’s been a while since I’ve been put in this position and…” he sighed, not sure how to talk his way out of it. “Ah, I don’t know. I’m a dumbass I guess.” 

The song certainly should have been over at this point, with the awkward silence and Wolf stumbling over his words. The band must have added another verse and another instrumental break. 

“Sha la la la la la la ain’t that sad? It’s such a shame, too bad, you’re gonna miss the girl.” 

“At least you have been in this position before,” Kat mumbled to herself before walking over to the window, arms still crossed. “Wait is that Calliope with them? I’m gonna kill her.”

“This is the first time you’ve ever been-” he didn’t know what to call it. “Courted!? Oh God. I’m so sorry it’s going this way.” There was so much else for him to be sorry for too, that she didn’t even know yet. 

“Most people are too afraid,” Kat said, rubbing her arms as she stared out the window. “And I push them away.”

“Well being too afraid makes them dumber than I am. Which is really saying something.” He knew that he shouldn’t try to save it, he shouldn’t try to make her smile, he should just let her think he was a jerk like Jillianne and walk away from him… To keep her safe… But he couldn’t just let go of her like this… 

Kat turned to him, “Should I have pushed you away too?” 

Yes. She should have. This was the final blow, if he could just say yes then it would be over, and they would be lowered to the ground, and she would be safe because she wouldn’t be his anymore. 

How badly he wanted to be hers. 

He tried to get out the word yes, but it stuck in his mouth like peanut butter. But he couldn’t tell her no and be honest.

“I don’t think I can tell you the answer to that,” he said honestly. “I’ve been pushed away before. For good reason, really. I’ve made some pretty terrible decisions in my life.” He got up and walked closer to her, but still an arm’s distance. “But…” he gestured between the two of them, “...this, whatever it is, isn’t one of those decisions.” His heart was pouring out of his mouth and he knew that he should just tell her to dump him off but… “You were the best thing to happen to me since… Well, ever I guess. And really, the worst thing I could do would be hurt you. But you know, I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I’m far from the perfect guy everyone likes to think I am.” 

There was so much about him that was ugly. Nobody ever saw it. He looked out, now able to see the concert area, and wondered if Elliot and Jillianne were down there. At least they could be happy. At least Thor, Phil, Pluto, Em, Thack, Scorp, and Helen could be happy. And Kat could be happy without him too. 

“I am far from perfect, too. The things that have happened to me…” Kat paused and when she continued, her voice wavered. “But Stellan…”

Upon hearing the name that was typically reserved for the people that were closest to him, he immediately froze in shock. It was his chosen name. “But what?”

Kat took a step closer and looked up at him. She shook her head at him, “I don’t want to push you away.”

He glanced down at her hands, but he couldn’t make himself move. He noticed that the music had stopped though. “A bit masochistic, don’t you think?” 

“Oh completely,” Kat laughed.

“Shut in a ferris wheel with a boy that won’t even kiss you,” he said awkwardly. “Even though you’re like, the most kissable person in Panem, and he’s just a big dummy that should realize that-”

“Wolf, would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

He swallowed his comment about cheese pizza- in hindsight it was probably really dumb anyways- and leaned down to kiss her. The moment their lips touched, all of his worries about danger and heartbreak disappeared. The only thing he could think about was the feeling of her so close. She took another step in and closed the distance between them. Before too long, she pulled back, and Wolf noticed that she was standing up on her tiptoes to reach. And her face. God, it must have been just as red as his was. Probably redder actually. 

“That took way too long,” he said with a nervous and giddy laugh. “My bad.” 

“You think?” Kat gave an equally nervous laugh. 

He could hear the yells and cheers of his friends from below them, and rolled his eyes a little bit, despite smiling. Kat put her arm up to the window and gave their cheering friends a big middle finger. Wolf grinned. God, she was the literal coolest ever. The feeling of coldness started to creep back into his stomach, but he tried to keep it down. Maybe… Maybe somehow, he deserved this moment. Wolf suddenly recognized the figure that was hanging out the window and waving up at them.

“Is that…” It couldn’t be. Why would he possibly do this to Wolf. But no, it definitely was him. “Elliot too!? Oh God.” Wolf let out an exasperated sigh at that. “I guess I’ll go easy on him. But he’s still in trouble.” Wolf rolled his eyes, pouting about it, but he couldn’t stay mad at Elliot. And if Elliot was there, perhaps his sister wanted to be involved with this too. And that was a good sign, right?

Wolf and Kat stood together in silence, the only noise being the song that the band was now singing with much more fervor. Wolf’s stomach started to churn with that cold feeling again, so he spoke up.

“Listen Kat, I need to talk to you about something before this becomes, like, official. But… It can’t be here. It has to be in private.” 

Kat shut her eyes for a moment at this, but when she opened them, she nodded her head. “Okay… I trust you.” 

“But, it’s nothing we have to worry about right now. I’d rather just enjoy the view for a moment. I think we’re at the very top.” He reached over and put his arm around her shoulders. He wasn’t looking outside. He was looking at her beautiful face, the hair that was so shiny and soft and that always hypnotized him when she was walking towards him. He was looking at the way her eyes sparkled in the lights of the city. At the lips he’d just kissed (was she wearing lip gloss or something? If so then it was great). “It really is a nice view.” 

Kat rolled her eyes up at him. “That was so cheesy.”

“But you liiiiiike me, so I can get away with some cheese,” he joked back. 

Kat tried to pout at this, but soon she was smiling at him. “I suppose. But not too much cheese.”

“And no pepperoni either.” He grinned at how cute she was, and how short she was compared to him.  

“No pepperoni?”

“None.” Wolf shook his head. He had graduated Valedictorian and here he was having no idea what to say to her. He’d never imagined that he would ever have a moment like this with her, and now that it was actually happening, he couldn’t form words. 

Thankfully, he didn’t have to. Kat snuggled closer into his side and the couple settled into a comfortable silence as they slowly descended. 

~.~.

Now that he was back on the ground, Wolf had to get back down to earth. He had no idea how he was going to go about telling her who he is without compromising the mission, or worse. Usually, Wolf liked to dive into things, but this was something he didn’t feel ready for. But he had to be honest. And he had to be safe. He smiled and laughed when his band members expressed how excited they were for him, but he didn’t feel it in his heart. 

But when she looked over at him and smiled at him, he completely melted. How could he possibly push her away? 

Kat followed Wolf to the apartment complex on Main Street, towards the only safe place in the whole Capitol. He only hoped that someone else wasn’t using it… When he knocked, there was no answer, so Wolf opened the door and let her in. She seemed a little tense at noticing that the drapes were pulled over the windows, the room completely obscured from view. She took a seat on the couch, and Wolf sat across from her. He wanted her to see his face. 

“So…” Kat said nervously and rubbed her palms on her legs.

“The good news is that I’m not a murderer,” he said, trying to at least start on a note that wasn’t completely foreboding. 

“Murderers aren’t the only terrible people out there…”

Wolf took a deep breath. “Kat, I want to be with you. There’s nothing I would want more. But…” he took a deep breath. “Being with me only puts you in danger. Not from me. I mean, I hope not from me… From people that might not be so happy with me.” God, this made him sound even sketchier. He was met with awkward silence. “I want to tell you, but I can’t…” he frowned, knowing that this was sounding crazy. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, though. The people that want to harm me might try to do it by hurting you. And I just want you to be safe.” He didn’t want to say it. But at this point, he didn’t have another choice. Wolf’s eyes filled with desperate tears. “You might be safer if you push me away.”  

Kat stared at him in silence for a few moments, before tears formed in her eyes. “Stellan… I…” She took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the ground. “I’m not pushing you away… I got hurt before I even knew you, hurt by people I thought would keep me safe…” Kat wrapped her arms around her chest and shook her head, not looking up at him. “I… You don’t need to worry about me getting hurt. Not after what they did to me.”

Just the thought of her being hurt made tears roll out of his eyes before he could stop them. He was smart enough to gather that she didn’t have anyone to protect her or support her before MM. “You don’t understand,” he said quietly. “I- they won’t… This is high stakes.” He didn’t know how else to tell her the horrible things that could happen to her. “You could get taken away from me, and I would have no control to stop it.” Nothing scared him more than that.

Kat looked up at him, tears silently falling down her cheeks. “They can try…” Kat whispered. “They aren’t going to hurt me again… I...I’m not that scared little girl anymore that believed the Capitol was safe and would protect me… I protect myself now.”

Wolf could see how deeply she was hurt on her face. “Kat, you don’t have to tell me anything that you’re not ready for me to know,” he said quietly. 

“You said we were going to be honest, right?” Kat gave a humorless laugh and tried wiping her tears away, but they were quickly replaced. “Well the honest answer is I was hurt in the worst fucking way before. By men who were supposed to protect me. The truth is I am broken and push people away to avoid them hurting me again. I wanted to push you away at first, I really did, to protect myself…” Kat shook her head at him. “But I couldn’t. If that didn’t make me push you away...I doubt whatever you have to say will push me away now.”

Men who were supposed to protect me...Wolf was starting to put the pieces together. And it made his heart feel like it was bleeding. A small sob escaped from him at the thought of everything she had to go through. “You’re the strongest dude I’ve ever met,” he said, trying to hide the fact that he was sobbing. There was no way he deserved to have her heart like this. “I would say woman, but…” he shook his head. “Dude encompasses everyone.” 

“I…” Kat let out a half sob, half laugh at this. “I’m not that strong. I’m only 5’. But I still bet I could kick your ass.”

“I wouldn’t bet against you,” Wolf said, his face streaked with tears and trying to smile. 

“Also…” Kat said slowly. “It’s Ekaterina...Kat’s not my real name. I just...that name isn’t who I am right now...”

Wolf let out a slightly bitter laugh at that. “Stellan would never leave his little sister in that damn house,” he said, shaking his head at himself. “But… Stellan also watched his friend be executed and did nothing to save him. At least Wolf is good for something.” 

“I don’t think Stellan is a bad person…” Kat said softly, shaking her head at him. “In fact...I like him a lot.”

Wolf gave a laugh, his tears slowing for just a moment. “You know…” he said. “I think that Ekaterina is strong. I think that Ekaterina is tough. I think that Ekaterina is a really badass woman. Ekaterina could kick my ass and I would thank her. You don’t have to be ashamed of her.” 

“I’m trying...but it’s hard, sometimes. Ekaterina was a scared little girl blindly putting her trust in people but Kat...Kat can protect herself.”

“Ekaterina rose from the ashes. She defied the odds. She did what nobody wanted her to do. They wanted her to stay down. She didn’t. They wanted her to run away, but she didn’t. She… She rebelled.” 

Kat sat up at this and met his gaze, eyes teary. “She did. She stood up for herself and said no more... No more getting hurt or letting others like her be hurt.”

Wolf was back to crying again. “Hey, Ekaterina…” 

Kat let out a tiny sob at being called that, but still forced a tiny smile at him. “Yeah Stellan?”

“You should be proud. And there’s nothing that makes me prouder than being your boyfriend.” 

“Oh you’re my boyfriend? I don’t remember you asking,” Kat teased him, even giving him a wink before she wiped away her tears.

“I…” He frowned. “Well, before I do I guess I should just be honest, since that seems to be the theme of the night.” He wiped his eyes. “I’m the head of a secret rebel organization that wants an end to the oppression of the Hunger Games, and the mistreatment of the most… Vulnerable populations.” He suddenly felt nervous again. What if he had just destroyed the mission…? Or, what if this was too much for her, what if she was afraid of him destroying her home or hating her because of her birthplace or- 

“Oh,” Kat said and stared at him for a long moment. She blinked a couple times and took a deep breath, “Well better than being a murderer or worse. So...” Kat paused, her face scrunching up (cutely) in thought. “You want to destroy the Capitol?”

Wolf shook his head quickly. “Not at all. This is my second home. I’ve found family here. What I’m after is the oppression. The government. The people who let innocent kids be sent away to die. Like Bec… Elliot… Camellia..” Wolf stared at his hands. “Syca.” Tears fell off his face and splashed on his hands. 

Kat was silent for a long moment until Wolf heard motion, and looked up to see her moving next to him. “Good,” Kat whispered to him. “Let those motherfuckers burn for not protecting innocent people.”

Wolf gave a small laugh, but it was quickly replaced by tears. “Even me telling you puts you in danger,” he said. “I can’t put you in danger of being killed like this. Killed for my treason. I don’t know what I would do.” 

“You’re not putting me in danger, I’m putting myself there,” Kat reached over, putting her hands on both sides of his face, making him stare at her. “I am a grown ass woman making my own choices. And my choice is you. We’ll do this. Together.”

“I might argue but I don’t want to cry anymore,” he joked, sniffling and wiping at his face, before looking seriously into her eyes. “Together is the only way I want to end the oppression. What’s the joy of flipping off Blossius and his wretched bully friends if I don’t have someone to share it with?” 

Kat laughed at this and moved her hands behind his neck, leaning closer to whisper to him, “Let’s do it.” 

Wolf was feeling so excited that he could have picked her up and spun her, but restrained because the last thing he wanted was to scare her. He settled for leaning forward to close the distance and kissing her, still a little shocked that this was actually happening. When she pulled back, he grinned. “Is now a good time to mention that Out of Spite is actually a group of tributes we saved from last year’s Games or no?” 

“Wh-what?” Kat’s jaw dropped open at this.

Wolf smirked proudly. “They just needed a Head Gamemaker on the inside and a very intelligent, cheesy, and dashingly handsome biomechanical engineer to help,” he said proudly. 

“Okay you’ve told me a lot of crazy things tonight but that might just be the most unbelievable.”

“The rescued tributes part or the dashingly handsome part?”

“The rescued trib- wait,” Kat stopped, staring intently at him. “Jillianne and Elliot…” 

Wolf winced at that, thinking about his sister with a broken heart. “I am only human. But we are going to do our best. Unfortunately, Blossius implanted one of his personal lapdogs to try and squash the operation. I don’t even know if I can do anything…” he started to get nervous again. 

“Well the dashingly handsome engineer now has a 5’ tall girlfriend ready to take them down, so I think we can do something,” Kat winked at him, trying her best to get him to believe her.

Wolf gave a sad smile. “We can’t compromise the mission,” he said. “Lux is doing his best… I wonder what he’s up to. I hope he’s at least having a good time for a little while.” 

Kat shook her head at this. “That part is the most unbelievable. Lux? A secret rebel?”

“I thought he might be the moment he planted those flowers after Syca’s death. Sympathizing with a tribute like that is both ballsy and unheard of, even if it was subtle. I honestly don’t know how he and Piccolo got tied up in the cause, but they reached out to me in secret because I guess I give off those rebel vibes. Also my best friend was incriminated for rebellious activity, so I guess that made me more approachable.”

“Wait, Piccolo too?” Kat scooched him over at this, moving her hands from around him so she can stare intently at him. “Clearly I’m missing out on a lot. You need to start from the beginning.”

Wolf laughed a little at that, grabbing some tissues to dry the excess tears and snot off of their faces as he started telling the story of how he got involved with the rebellion.

Maybe he hadn’t gotten a “storybook ending” like his friends did. But what he got that night was something that he never thought he was allowed or deserved to have. 

A partner, in every sense of the word. A partner in crime (literally), a partner in the confusing realm of love, and someone to support him when he needed it. 

A partner who was just as beautiful and yes, cute, as she was talented, tough, strong, and brave. And they were going to change the world together.

Wolf and Kat- No.

Stellan and Ekaterina.