Deleted Scenes: Bullet to the Heart

(Another snippet of angst thanks to Dreamer! Thank you Dreamer!)

-Riggs Fidler, 20, Victor of the 125th Hunger Game-

Night Before the 127th Hunger Games

The hallway between the Complex and the medical unit was silent, but Riggs could feel his heart still rapidly pounding. The last time he was here, he had woken up to Gian sitting at his bedside after he had won the games. Never did Riggs think he’d be practically running through these halls with the roles reversed. Tonight, Gian was the patient, and Riggs was anxious to be with him.

Gunshots still echoed in Riggs’s ears, forever etched in his memory. A man was murdered tonight, and with so many shots fired, it was a wonder no one else was dead. Whether or not someone was trying to hit Harleigh remained a mystery, but Gian had shielded his tribute from harm, getting hit in the arm by one of the many bullets fired tonight.

Upon arriving at the complex, Gian was brought straight to the hospital, and after getting confirmation that Gian was not in danger of losing his life - or his limb, for that matter - Riggs had gone to the District Six Floor to ensure his and Gian’s tributes were safe and secure. Both he and Gian were worried about them, and Gian had begged him to make sure they were okay before coming to be with him. Harleigh was quiet and didn’t want to talk, while Elliot was very clearly shaken. A member of his favorite band was killed, and Riggs could tell the younger boy was taking it hard. Once Riggs ensured both were settled in and in the capable hands of Amani, Riggs hurried off to turn his attention to Gian.

It wasn’t hard to find Gian’s room, and once there, it took less effort to convince the security guard to let him in than Riggs had expected. Surely that was a good sign, right? If Gian’s injuries were serious, surely Riggs wouldn’t have been let in.

Riggs opened the door to find his boyfriend propped up in a hospital bed. As he came in, Gian lifted his head, his eyes full of relief. “Riggs.”

“Hey, baby,” Riggs greeted softly. “I thought I was supposed to be the reckless one who gets himself injured. You scared me.”

Gian smiled a little at Riggs’s attempt at a joke. “I’m sorry. I just… I had to protect her. I would never have forgiven myself if Harleigh got hurt before the Games even started. I know you were doing the same for Elliot.”

Riggs nodded as he pulled a chair to the edge of Gian’s bed, taking his hand. “Yeah…”

“How are they?”

Riggs hesitated. “They’re fine. Shaken, but who wouldn’t be after that? They’re safe, though. Amani’s there.”
Gian nodded. “Good. They will take care of them.”

“What about you?” Riggs asked warily, glancing at the fresh bandages covering Gian’s entire arm. “How is your arm?”

“Sore,” Gian admitted. “But the doctor was able to stop the bleeding and give me some pain medication right before you came in. It hasn’t kicked in yet though. I need to check on the tributes. They need both of us there.”

Riggs shook his head. “Gian, no. You need to rest, and so do they. Besides, you might start getting loopy from those pain meds soon.” Riggs tried to joke, but really, he was still overcome with worry and didn’t want his boyfriend to overexert himself. He could still feel his heart beating quickly, though it has slowed quite a bit knowing Gian would be okay. “Fuck, Gian, I was so scared. You lost so much blood…”

Gian frowned. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m fine though, I promise.”

“I know… I guess… I guess I now know how scared you must have been every time I was injured in the arena. I just… I need you, Gian. If I lost you…” Riggs closed his eyes for a moment, imaging where he would be if he didn’t have Gian. How could he cope with the stress and pain of being a Victor if the love of his life was no longer there to support him? Certainly not healthily…. Gian kept him grounded, and at times kept him from self-destructing. Riggs was sure, and had been for a while, that Gian was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. There was no doubt in his mind. Riggs opened his eyes to see Gian watching him with concern, despite the fact that he was the one who had been shot tonight, not Riggs. God, he loved this man so much.

“Let’s get married.”

Gian’s eyes widened in surprise. “...What?”

“I mean, not right now,” Riggs said quickly, his face growing hot at his habit to just blurt out whatever he was thinking. “Obviously. We have Elliot and Harleigh and the Games to think about. But hopefully after one of them wins, sometime between the victory tour and the next games. I didn’t exactly mean to propose to you while you’re in a hospital bed, but I do mean the words. Tonight I’ve realized that we aren’t guaranteed anything. I could have lost you. I don’t want to live my life without you, Gian. I want to marry you, I’m sure of it.”

Riggs was rambling, he knew he was, but he didn’t care. Now that it was out in the open, Riggs didn’t want to hold back how he felt. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, especially with Gian. Normally, his love would be smiling when Riggs said things like that, or shaking his head in amusement when Riggs’s proclamations of love were too cheesy. But… not this time. Gian was frozen, his face looking suddenly pale. If he hadn’t been bandaged up, Riggs would have been concerned he was losing blood again.

“Gian…?”

“I… Riggs. Wow. I’m sorry…. That was… sudden. I, um… I need to think about it.”

Riggs’s heart sank. Think about it? He knew he and Gian operated differently, had different ways of thinking, but… what was there to think about? They had been dating for close to two years, ever since the day Riggs came out of the arena. They were both only twenty, but Riggs knew there was no one else out there for him but Gian. Did… did Gian have doubts?

Riggs hung his head. “I’m sorry…. I caught you off guard. This isn’t really a good time to ask that…”

“Yeah…” Gian said slowly.

“I’m, uh, I’m going to go take a walk.” Riggs needed to go somewhere, be somewhere else. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to be with Gian, he just needed to get away before he dug himself into a deeper hole and made the situation even worse.

“...Okay,” Gian replied as Riggs got up from his chair and quickly left the room.

Riggs didn’t know where to go. He didn’t want to go back to the District Six Floor; Amani was there, and they would definitely question why he was upset. He couldn’t stay here… That only left one place that made any sense at all. With tear-filled eyes, Riggs briskly walked back to the complex and pushed the up button on the elevator. Hopefully, no one else would be up there.

Riggs paced in front of the elevator until it dinged, then hustled inside, then paced some more as it carried him up to the roof. The night was clear, the bustle of the Capitol continuing on as if the world hadn’t changed. To Riggs, life felt frozen, yet life in the Capitol paused for no one.

Riggs slid against the wall and buried his face in his arms as tears pooled in his eyes, not just from his blunder with Gian, but from all the pent up emotion from the night’s events. The adrenaline was gone, and all that was left was pain and regret at his own impulsivity. He felt like he had taken a bullet to the heart.

Riggs moved fast. He had so much energy and felt with such intensity, and he knew it could be too much for some people. He could only blame so much on the Q-serum, and besides, he had already been given an antidote for that. Sure, being hyped up on hormones made him more… insistent than with Gian than he would have been otherwise, but still… Riggs was a lot to handle. Gian could though…. Stubborn, kind, sassy, hardworking Gian. They were so different, their minds operating on completely different wavelengths it seemed. They complimented each other though, balanced each other out.

Gian was meticulous though. While Riggs was impulsive, Gian was a planner. He wasn’t often at ease with spontaneity, which is what Riggs had just presented him with when he made that suggestion to get married. Man, Gian deserved the most romantic, thought-out proposal ever, with dinner and flowers and a fancy speech, something that made it quite obvious what Riggs was about to pop the question. But no, Riggs had asked on a whim. No planning, just acting on a burst of love and emotion.

He probably thinks you don’t take marriage seriously, Riggs thought, angry at himself. Throwing that word around like it’s not this totally life-altering step. On the night before the Games too….

Riggs laughed humorlessly. He sure had a habit of pouring his heart out without thinking, didn’t he? It was on this very rooftop he had proclaimed his love to Gian two years ago, which at the time, had broken both their hearts. It wasn’t Gian’s fault; he was scared. He wasn’t ready to love someone who could very easily die the next day. Just like he wasn’t ready now, at least, not without taking time to process.

Riggs sniffled and rubbed his eyes on his sleeve. The last time he was up here, he and Gian had been filmed. He sure hoped he wasn’t being filmed now. He could only imagine the rumors that would be flying around that “Giggs”, beloved ship of the Capitol, had a devastating break-up.

Well, hopefully it would just be a rumor. Riggs shook his head. He was being an over-emotional drama king. This wasn’t a break-up. As he told Elliot, sometimes there was friction, but that was normal in a relationship, healthy even. They always talked things out when something was bothering them. But…

Riggs was scared to bring up marriage again. He couldn’t help but be afraid that it was more than just Gian being caught off guard. What if he had doubts? What if he didn’t want to get married. Riggs had told Elliot that Gian was the one for him, that they were both sure of it, but there was still that small chance that Gian wasn’t as sure as Riggs had thought….

Marriage was a big step. It wasn’t unreasonable after two years of being together, but it was still life-altering. Pressuring Gian was the last thing Riggs wanted, especially when they both were under so much stress with the Games. He rubbed his eyes again and stood up decisively. Everything would be just fine. He wouldn’t bring up marriage again, at least not until the Games were over and things had settled down. Until then, he would just act like their last conversation never happened. He wouldn’t say a word about it. Riggs loved Gian, and all he wanted was him to be happy. Maybe, all he needed was time to think and to decide he was ready. If he wasn’t, well… that would be fine too. Riggs could wait a million years for Gian Mariani.

Riggs pushed the button for the elevator, which was still on the rooftop, and stepped inside. Riggs knew he needed rest. It was going to be a long, stressful day, and he and Gian couldn’t be separated for it. Elliot and Harleigh needed them to be a team. They were a team, and no difference between them would ever be great enough to change that.


Riggs needed to be there for Gian, and he needed Gian at his side to be there for him. Just like always.